Sucked In
by Tierra The Awesome
Summary: Abused by her mom. runaway. naruto addict. all could be used to describe McKenna. and now there's another one. a clueless-to-whats-going-on girl somehow sucked into the Naruto universe. And what's going through her head? Mainly, "Oh crap."  shikaxoc
1. Sucked In

I sat on my bed, frustratedly flipping through my manga. I tried to ignore the screams from downstairs as my parents argued heatedly.

_Why does my mom always have to be such a bitch? Robert's good to us. Why does she always have to act like he's some mooching ass of a second husband? It's her fault she's such a temperamental freak. She can't just go around bitching and whining about her life like we aren't having our own troubles. And she can't go around cracking people upside the head or in the face whenever she gets pissed off. _

I heard my mother stomping up the stairs, and I shoved my manga under my pillow, and quickly tried to pretend I was asleep.

"MCKENNA! WAKE THE FUCK UP! MOVE YOUR ASS YOU STUPID BITCH!" She screams from outside my door, pounding on it so hard that I heard some wood splinter.

I stomped across the room, and unlocked the door, before diving back to my bed. She crashed in, slamming my door into the wall so hard a framed picture fell, shattered glass scattering over the floor.

She grabbed a handful of my hair, and yanked me out of my bed. I fell to the floor, and smacked my head hard on the floor. Dazed, I let her drag me out of my room, but snapped back when she threatened to throw me down the stairs. I went into a frenzy, trying to grab a hold of the banister before I was flung down the flight of steps.

She kept on screaming, trying to push me down, when I suddenly pushed myself to my feet and shoved her into the wall, away from the stairs. She reached out and hit me hard in the face. I hit her back, harder. I was taller than her, and heavier than her. I used that to my advantage.

Tears clouded my vision as I fought back against her repeated blows, eventually over-powering her. I hit her in the stomach, close to her scar from pacemaker surgery. She doubled over, and toppled backwards. I shoved her into my step-sister's room, and locked the door. It was a cheap move, but I knew it would make her stop.

I ran back to my room, slammed the door, and locked it. My trembling hand flicked the light switch, and I stared at myself in the mirror. No matter how hard I'd fought back, she had still beaten the hell out of me. A large bruise was spreading across my cheek, and my lip was cracked, busted, and bleeding. Tears slid down my face as I gingerly lay down on my bed, trying not to burst out in tears, like a bawling baby.

* * *

><p>I woke up at 3 or 4 in the morning. My door was still locked, and my face was still throbbing. I didn't want to take this crap anymore, from the woman who was supposed to take care of me, not hit me because she's having problems.<p>

I stood up, and threw a large duffel bag on my bed. I stuffed in a few changes of clothes, some food I hid in my room at all times, and some shampoo and body wash. I don't know why, but I decided to treat it like I was going on vacation. I fit in a few Naruto manga, and all the cash I had. About a hundred and fifty dollars. I hitched the duffel higher on my shoulder, and silently crept out of my room after dropping the bag out my window and onto the front lawn.

I went slowly down the stairs, noticing that my step-sister's room was open. I thanked God that she was with her mother this week. Otherwise that four-year old would have to deal with this. The last time she had, she had been screaming so loud the neighbors called the cop. I blamed it on a horror movie, or something equally lame. I made a more believable story about a school fight to explain my black eye.

They left with a joke about scary movies and a warning to stay out of trouble. My mom was somewhere in her room sleeping off her screaming-fit. I had sent her and Robert over to his parent's house, and my mom had spent the rest of the weekend acting like a super-sweet, sugary-loving mom. It was sickening.

I quietly entered the foyer, and hesitantly placed my hand on the deadbolt. There was no way to avoid the accompanying noise as it slid out of place with a loud, metallic _thlack _that echoed across the living room. My heart stopped beating, and I froze. Nothing happened, so I slowly clicked open the (thankfully less noisy) knob lock, opened the door, and slipped outside. Feeling like some sort of beast-ass ninja, I snagged my duffel bag from the lawn, tossed it over my shoulder, and began to walk.

To who knows the hell where?

* * *

><p>I scowled at the tree, which had decided it was my mortal enemy and had tripped me. I continued to shove crap back in my bag, when a reddish-orange blur lunged at my face. Its soft fur tickled my face as it licked my nose excitedly.<p>

"WHAT THE FLYING KUNAI-Oh. It's a baby fox." I awwwwwed over it for a few minutes, like every girl would, and it barked happily. When I got up to walk away, it trotted after me, longue hanging out. I fawned over it again, and decided I would keep it.

I squatted, and scratched its head.

"Heeeyyyy little guy. Imma kidnap you…and you will be my Kyuubi, and you will be mine, and you shall be my Kyuubi." I giggled, and started walking again, Kyuubi following me like a faithful little puppy.

I decided to make camp a few hours (and miles) later. As I picked a clearing and dumped my stuff, I face palmed.

"Kyuubi, I feel like a Naruto wannabe right now. Camping? In the middle of the woods? This has completely passed fangirlism." I complained to the furry animal equivalent of a redhead.

I rolled out my sleeping bag, and decided it was imperative to make a fire. (Did I really just think _imperative? _I must be going crazy…) I used my awesome boy scout (yes, boy scout. I pleaded sexism when they wouldn't let me in.) skills to make sticks spark up and slowly let them catch the rest on fire, eventually adding in a few big branches I had broken off of the trees.

As warmth spread around me, I tiredly wiggled into my sleeping bag, Kyuubi snuggling in the crook of my arm, her face just barely peeking out of the top of the bag with my shoulder.

It was so adorable, it should have been illegal.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning to a loud boom from deeper in the woods. I jerked awake, rolling over hard. I squished Kyuubi, and she nipped my shoulder. I flipped over again, and she crawled out, licking her foot. I glared at her, still tangled in my bag.<p>

It took five minutes, but I finally freed myself from the clutches of the evil bag. I squished it back into its carrying case thing somehow, and stood. Kyuubi ran in excited little circles around my feet, when another explosion boomed across the woods. I swear I saw the trees shake.

I stumbled a little when Kyuubi dive-bombed my leg with a loud yelp. That last boom had scared her out of her little fox mind.

I looked around uneasily, and headed to the place I thought the boom had come from. As I treaded through the woods, I saw torn pieces of paper fluttering everywhere. They had something printed on them, but I couldn't tell what. After a quarter of a mile, I saw several decimated pieces of plastic book covering. _Manga _book coverings. I stared, realizing they were Naruto covers.

_But…why are there Naruto manga all the way put there? And why so many? And why are they all ripped up?_

And suddenly, another boom echoed, loud enough to make my head vibrate. I flinched hard, and dropped my bag. Another wave of ripped manga flew through the woods. I saw a black…_thing _in the clearing ahead, before a whole, unripped manga hit me hard in the forehead, and I blacked out.


	2. Meet n Greet And A Fangirl Rant

**No, this isn't supposed to be a Graceling/Naruto crossover, I used "graced" as the term because she's supposed to be from our world, so she'll often use references that Naruto people wouldn't understand to explain things. So she says "graced" so it sounds weird to them, and perfectly acceptable cuz they cant explain it or prove her wrong.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (**cries**) or Graceling/any Graceling references I make in the future!**

When I woke up, I was in a grassy field. The air smelled…different. Not bad different. Good different. Like not-polluted-by-all-of-our-modern-cars-and-shit different.

I took a deep breath, and stood up.

I wasn't even dizzy. Shouldn't I be dizzy after getting knocked out like that? Even if it was only by a manga-wait. Where the hell am I anyway?

I looked around, and then stopped. And stared. And stared. And stared. And then I stared a little more.

"That…..it can't be….Holy shiznit." I stood up, and walked towards the towering gate that just peeked over the trees. Kyuubi followed behind me, jumping around with peppy animal glee. As she frolicked, I nervously trudged down the path, until I was right in front of the open gates. I wandered inside, still staring, gawking upwards.

"I've been watching the anime for years, and I never realized how tall it really was." I murmured to myself. I took another step forward, when cold steel pressed against my throat. I shrieked and squeezed my eyes shut, and before I realized what was happening, I was in a chokehold with something sharp touching my forehead.

"WHAT THE HELL? GET OFF ME!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I kicked my leg directly upwards, and felt my knee connect with something. I kicked backwards, and the heel of my foot met resistance too. I was released from the chokehold, and I opened my eyes.

Izumo and Kotetsu were rolling around on the ground, hands between their legs.

"What the hell? You shouldn't start grabbing on me like that, you psychos!" I yelled. Kyuubi nipped at their faces.

"Well, then why don't you explain what you're doing here?" came a voice from behind me.

_Waaaaaaaait….I know that voice…._

I turned around, and screamed with fangirl joy.

"KAKASHI!" I leaped at him and glomped him. A full body glomp. I actually knocked him over. I started spouting of random facts about him; talking so quick it wasn't understandable.

"What the hell? Who are you? What are you saying?"

"Uh-uh-uh-uh….." I stammered. "My name is Ma-" I stopped. Here I could have whatever named I wanted, to a point. I didn't have to be stuck with my stupid McKenna name.

"My name is…" I remembered the Japanese word for coffee, for whatever reason. "My name is Kōhī. Kōhī Aname."

"Where are you from?"

Ohhh….shiznit….

"I'm…from a faraway country…called…ummm…Tennessee." Lame, McKenna. Lame. You shoulda said California. Or Alaska. Somewhere decent! Not the lame-ass place where you actually live.

"And what were you saying earlier? I have no idea what you were blabbing about."

"I was talking about you."

"Huh?"

I launched back into the fangirl routine.

"Kakashi Hatake, Jonin, affiliated with Konohagakure, Village Hidden in the Leaves.  
>Your ninja registration number is 009720, and your birthday is September 15, and a Virgo. You're approximately 30 years old, closer to 29. You weigh 67.5 kilograms, and you're 181 centimeters tall.<br>Your blood type is O. Your favorite foods are broiled saury with salt, and miso soup with eggplant. You hate anything savory or sweet, especially tempura. You've completed 197 D-rank, 190 C-rank, 414 B-rank, 298 A-rank, and 42 S-rank missions. And your hobby is reading IchaIcha, which I can tell you really wish you were doing by the way your hand keeps going to your pouch, where you keep it." I finished, looking him evenly in the eyes.  
>I always feel better after a good bout of fangirling.<p>

He stared, and then looked like he was slowly beginning to smile. Even though he had that stupid ass mask on. It was the way his eye-crinkled. I read a whole blog on his facial expressions. It had pictures.

"Come with me." He said, then gestured for me to get off of him

_Oh shit I'm still sitting on him aren't i? this is so… oh my god I look like a ho._

He started walking off, and I followed him as he walked towards the Hokage's residence.

_Oh Jesus. What am I getting myself into here?_

"So how did you know all that?"

"Uhh…..I have a…a gift. Called…a history Grace." Great McKenna. Now you're ripping off of Graceling. Smooth.

"A history Grace?"

"Yea. I'm Graced with a knowledge for the past…and the present some. Not the future though. If I do predict the future, it's only to a certain point in the future." Now I was completely making it up. Kinda following along, fibbing about how I know about all this…I feel like a stalker for knowing, even though millions of Naruto-fan-children know more than I do.

"Interesting."

"Now if only you could say that when you aren't reading Icha Icha, it might be more believable."

He laughed, and I went all jelly inside. Have I mentioned that I've been through four distinct fangirl phases? The phases where you become obsessed with one male character, and fantasize. For a reeeeeally long time on reeeeeally perverted things.

Kakashi was obsession number three.

So his laugh was making me all tingly.

_Caaaalm McKenna. Caaaalm…_

Obsession number one was Naruto, the phase about 80% of fangirls go through. The second was-

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Hello Kiba."

_Oh my lord Jesus all of the Naruto boys are gonna be sprung on me aren't they?_

Akamaru sniffed my hand, and licked my arm. I blushed as Kiba peered at my face, and sniffed me. I was trying not to giggle like a cheerleader while he and Akamaru "inspected" me.

"Kakashi-sensei? Who's this? And what the hell is she wearing?"

"…I'm wearing clothes…"

"Weird clothes."

I looked down, and realized he was right. I probably looked like some creepy stalker right now. I was wearing a pair of Doc Martins, orange tights, (its cold…well it was back in the woods…) a black skirt, an orange thermal shirt, and a black t-shirt with the anime renditions of Kiba, Gaara, Kankuro, Shino, Choji, Lee, Kakashi, Shikamaru, and Naruto.

I know it doesn't sound like camping gear, but I don't pack practically. Hence the skirt.

"Yes. Weird clothes to you. Completely normal clothes where I come from."

"Which is where? You don't smell like you're from anywhere even kinda close to here…"

"She's from Tennessee. And she's Graced."

"What the hell is a 'graced'?" Kiba asked, responding to Kakashi's interjection.

"A gift. It makes her special."

Being called special. By _Kakashi_. Welcome back, Mr. Tingly-feeling. Have some red bull and extra-spazz me out.

"What's so special bout her? Bein prettier than most people ain't a real _gift._" Kiba said, poking me in the shoulder.

"One, don't poke me. I'm a person. Two, did you just call me pretty?"

"Yeah."

Mr. Tingly-feeling just had kids. They're sugar-high and swarming me.

"We're headed to the Hokage's, if you wanna join us." Kakashi asked Kiba.

"Sure."

For some reason, my body decided (completely without my permission, of course) that now was an excellent time to swoon and fall.

…

Right into Kiba's arms.

_I swear I'm going to lose my mind._

He lifted me onto Akamaru, and then caught me again when I fell off. I was suddenly dizzy.

_Damn teenage hormones. I must look like an idiot right now._

"Can't you even stay on the dog?"

"…shut up." I mumbled, crossing my arms, and glaring at the ground, blushing furiously.

He lifted me onto his back, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. My sudden exhaustion was weirding me out.

"So what is your 'Grace,' then?" Kiba asked.

"History…and I know a lot about you."

"Oh really. Like what?" he asked, with a smirk in his tone.

Fangirl routine number two:

"Kiba Inuzuka, chunin, affiliated with Konohagakure, Village Hidden in the Leaves.  
>Your ninja registration number is 012620, and your birthday is July 7th, and you're a Cancer. You're 16 years old. You weigh 52.5 kilograms, and you're 169.1 centimeters tall.<br>Your blood type is B. Your favorite foods are beef jerky and gristle. You hate anything that isn't chewy. You've completed 21 D-rank, 19 C-rank, 8 B-rank, 2 A-rank, and 0 S-rank missions. And your hobby is walking with Akamaru, which you were doing earlier when you met us on the street."

"…That's…weird. And crazy. And awesome."

"I know right!" I laughed.

A few minutes later, we reached the Hokage's place, and I got nervous.

_Okay McKenna… Think._

We climbed the stairs, and walked through the halls, and I started making up a plan.


	3. Taken To The Hokage

_Okay McKenna. Think._

_Option A:  
>Bail. Run. Somehow, someway, and sometime soon. Like, next three and a half minutes soon. Get the hell out of Konoha. Go find Orochimaru or something. He sure as hell won't reject you. Lord knows he likes to experiment. <em>

_Option B:  
>Pretend you're mentally challenged.<em>

_Okay, no. That's a freaking stupid suggestion._

_Option C:  
>Spew everything. How you got here. When. Why. How and why you <em>really _know so much. No Graced crap._

_Option D:_

_Lie lie lie lie lie lie._

…is it obvious I love option d?

We stood behind Kakashi. And he was feverishly working at the door, trying to get it open. From the other side, Tsunade was laughing.

"You'll never get that door open! It's reinforced with an inch of solid steel! My latest investment!"

I heard laughter from others, who I guessed were Sakura from the girly giggle and Shizune from the nervous chuckle. 

Kakashi kicked at it, and I heard the wood splinter, just barely. Nowhere near as bad as it should have normally. I groaned, and decided I would try, and pretend I contributed to see if it would give me brownie points.

"Move." I pushed an obviously miffed Kakashi outta my way, and glared hard at the door. And then I growled, and hit it once. Hard.

And the door fractured into pieces, wood and shrapnel flying every which way from Kansas.

(**a/n sorry my mom said that like three seconds ago, she dropped a bag a flour…it looks like it snowed in a gravity-defying fit of amazingness to our ceiling. And yes, I am sitting on the floor of the kitchen, typing while my mom and cousin make cookies. It's inspirational.)**

I stared wide eyed at the space that had been previously occupied by a pretty much indestructible door, which was scattered all over the Hokage's office. It looked like it had snowed wood and metal. Tsunade was holding a thick book in front of her face, which was imbedded with a massive, deadly looking piece of shrapnel.

"Holy crap nuggets. Did I really just do that?"

"Ye-es…" Kakashi said, wide eyed, his voice doing a weird little shocked crack in the middle of the word, splitting it into two syllables. I stared blankly at my fist. "Holy shia-za-nit." I said, emphasizing every piece of the word.

So this….is what a mental breakdown feels like. It's nice. You have a super freakout, (my mom's abuse) and then recede into your head and defy every freaking law of the universe and end up in what is a theoretical and fictional universe. (This. Alla dis.)

I laughed, and threw a piece of shrapnel in the air. It stuck in the ceiling. And then I stepped forward and tripped over the bottom of the door, which was still shut it into the doorway. I flipped over the obstacle, and hit my head on the floor, then rolled over.

"Oooowwwwwww…" I moaned, rubbing my forehead. Kiba laughed at me, and I rolled over to glare at him, causing him to shut up. I pushed myself into a sitting position, and rubbed my aching head as Kakashi explained everything to Tsunade.

"What? Is she graced with strength too? Or just destruction?" she growled in my direction. Knowing her, I would be reimbursing her for this door. Several times over.

"Not that I'm aware of." He said, and then looked at me as if to ask.

"Hell, I don't know. I wasn't able to do this before I came here!" I yelled, pissed off. It's not like I meant to shatter her door! How could I have? IT WAS REINFORCED WITH STEEL GODDAMMIT! I glared in the other direction as they continued to talk, and I noticed a clock on the wall.

11:11

_With whatever got you here being able to get you here, why shouldn't it be able to get you _out _of here?_

I desperately screamed at the clock, but only in my head. I didn't need them thinking I was any more insane than they already did.

GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT! OR IF YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE ME IN HERE AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME EVEN MORE STRENGTH OR SOME OTHER BEAST POWERS! Seriously! How else am I supposed to _not _die in the Narutoverse!

I thought-screamed all of this at the clock, and after another second, the second ticked over the 59 second mark.

11:12

Oh lordy jesus and his mama please let that wish help me get the fuck outta here.

"You! Blondie! Up!"

I scrambled up, and looked her in the eyes.

"Prove your…'grace.'"

I thought for a moment, and replied. "Make everyone leave. Except Shizune. I don't think you'd mind if she heard."

She dismissed them, and Sakura left reluctantly. I shot her a look, and said, "Don't worry. Tsunade-sama is the Hokage. Even if I did want to hurt her, I doubt I'd be able to."

She stared at me, then left.

…Sakura. I kinda hate her, kinda don't. I'm more on the hater side, but that doesn't mean I haven't read up on her. I'll spazz on her later. By the next time I see her, Naruto'll probably be around. Which means I'll more than likely jump into _that _fangirl routine, and while I'm rolling I'll jump into the Sakura rant/spazz/thingie.

Sooo…back to the point.

"Prove that you're graced."

"What? Don't believe me?"

"Not in the slightest. Start telling the truth."

"Fine. I really do know everything I profess to know, but not because I'm graced. Where I'm from, is _nowhere _near here. I'm more than just far away. Something brought me here. I'm from another world entirely. A world where a lot more people than me know everything about you people. And that's not even going into the people who are so obsessed with Naruto that they know as much as Masashi Kishimoto."

She stared at me.

"…I'll refrain from going into details about that. Don't worry. But I'm from another…dimension. A dimension where a lot of people know everything about you. And in that…dimension-place, we pride ourselves in knowing things, which is why I can spout off so much stuff. I even have an account on a place that lets me write about your world, and change things, but it won't really affect you. Stuff like romances and yaoi-"

There she cut me off.

"Stop. I don't need to know all that right now. I need your name, and proof that you really know what you say you know."

"Uh, m'lady, may I ask her something first?" Shizune interjected.

"Fine. I need a drink anyway." She sighed and rummaged inn her drawers for a sake bottle.

"Top right drawer, under the lottery tickets." I said. She shot me a look, slid open the drawer, found the bottle, and stared at me again. She poured a cup, looked at the cup, looked at me, looked at the cup, looked at me, looked at the cup, looked at me, then took the bottle and started to guzzle it. Ahh… now I remember why I admired her once. Her ability to drink a ton of booze before she gets inebriated.

"Um, Miss, what do you mean by…yaoi?" she asked, slightly flustered.

Oooooolala. My _faaaavorite _subject is being brought up, and I wasn't even the one who had to do it.

"I _mean…,_ yaoi. Fluffy yaoi, hardcore yaoi, cute yaoi, childish yaoi, rape yaoi, although that's more my friend Savannah's forte, I only wrote it once and didn't like it, and a couple of times I wrote fetish yaoi. Between all sorts of people, if I like the pairings of course. SasuNaru and NaruSasu, ItaSasu, Kankuro ex Naruto, SasuGaa, Kabuto ex Sasuke, Orochimaru ex Kiba, _that _was a weird one, and I even did IrukaKaka once, but I prefer to write KakaSaku romances, or KakaOC romances, where I make me the OC because I had a really bad Kakashi phase. Lately though it's been a lot of ShikaIno or ShikaOC." I gasped when I finished, somehow managing to get all of that out in one breath. Shizune was holding Tonton, wide eyed. I felt a mischievous smile tug on my lips.

"And yes, I will leave you with the lovely thought of Sasuke and Naruto having manse-"

"ENOUGH!" Tsunade yelled. "My life is bad enough without that _horrible _mental image!" She downed some more sake before forcing herself to look at me. "I never want to hear you say anything more, _absolutely anything more _about that in my presence. Although I'm pretty sure Kakashi would love to hear something like that." She had a drunken little hiccup fit in the middle of her ramblings.

"Now prove your grace already! I wanna hear about me, if you can even say anything!" she said, the alcohol finally screwing with her and making her whine like a little girl.

"Fine. You're the fifth Hokage of Konohagakure, granddaughter of the first Hokage, grandniece of the second Hokage, and student of the third Hokage, which is why many people called you Princess. Along with Orochimaru and Jiraiya, you were one of the three legendary Sannin of Konoha. You were the slug queen, according to Granny Chiyo. You once spotted Jiraiya peeping on you while you were at a Hot Spring, so you broke both of his arms, six of his ribs, and smooshed several of his internal organs. You even left him a lovely scar that looks like an effed up octopus squid thing. Your ninja registration number is 002302, and you graduated from the Academy at the age of 6. When you were younger, you gave your grandfather's crystal necklace to your younger brother Nawaki on his twelfth birthday, 'cuz you wanted him to follow his dream of becoming Hokage. He died the next day, and Orochimaru gave you the necklace back. He had his creepy pedo smile the entire time. He was trying not to laugh when he said the body was unrecognizable. After that you wanted medical-nin to be placed on the battlefield, but the Hokage said that it couldn't happen since there was a war. A man named Dan agreed with you. You fell in love with him. You gave him the necklace. He died too." I kept that part of my speech clipped, not wanting to piss her off or make her cry. When he had died in that episode…damn. I never thought I'd ever see Tsunade so emotional. Ever.

"You took his niece, Shizune," I nodded towards Shizune, whose hand was over her mouth, trying not to cry. Tsunade was looking at me blankly, "Under your wing, and with you everywhere you went, pretty much. After that I'm not completely sure, but you met Naruto and Jiraiya later and made a bet with Naruto. Oh and Shizune, you know you scared the hell out of him with the necklace story, right?"

Shizune looked guilty for a second, but Tsunade said nothing. I decided to risk immediate death and say another thing.

"And you don't actually look like this. You're using a constant transformation jutsu to remain young in appearance, because you're actually an old hag. I don't think very many people here have any idea about that, and I know where I come from we don't know what you really look like. There's never been a part where you've been shown without the transformation jutsu in place."

This time when I looked at her, her eye was twitching.

I backed up a little bit, knocking into someone. I was a little too scared of Tsunade to turn around to see who it was.

"Take…her…and show her around," growled Tsunade. Shizune asked me another question right before I turned around.

"Wait, what's your real name?"

"McKenna."

"Last name?"

"Don't have one."

"Really?"

"Really really." Haha. Shrek reference.

"Uh, well umm…thank you. And if you ever write more of that _stuff, _I would like to see it."

My eyes widened.

"Shizune! Are you a closet pervert? Like Ebisu?" I squealed.

Shizune blushed, and I laughed so hard I thought my head was going to fall off. While I was dying of laughter, the person Tsunade had told to show me around pulled me out of the room while Tsunade punched her desk in half.

Oh god. I'm going to be reimbursing her for that too, I'm sure of it. We go to the end of the hall, and I saw a crowd waiting at the stairwell. Kakashi, Sakura, Kiba, Akamaru, and _Naruto. _

I squealed. Screeched even. And then I turned to spazz at whoever the person holding my wrist was and I screamed even louder.

"SHIKAMARU!" I screamed, and whirled around to glomp him. Not a huggle. A full-on fangirl-gone-mad _glomp_. I knocked him to the floor and was hugging him so tight I doubt he could breathe.

"What…the hell?" he managed to say.

"SHIKAMARU!" I screamed again. I let go of him, and started spazzing, and stopped suddenly. And then I glomped Naruto. I'm guessing he was prepared, because he didn't fall over, just sorta stumbled backwards. "NARUUUTOOO!" I squealed. Loudly. I'm pretty sure I hurt his ears. And then I broke away, trying to calm myself.

"Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out." I said, eventually stopping my hyperventilation. Shika was eyeing my warily from the ground, and Naruto was grinning hugely at Sakura. I don't even want to know why.

"So, Kōhī,-"

"Kōhī?" Shikamaru asked from the floor.

"Oh. Ummm… Crap." I said. Now everyone was staring. "Well…my name isn't Kōhī…it's McKenna…" I mumbled.

"Well then. McKenna. So, McKenna, what are you doing now?" Kakashi asked.

"I…have absolutely no idea."

"You're not going to recite about Shikamaru or Naruto? You certainly attacked them harder than you did me."

"Oh. YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!"

I grabbed Shika's hand and pulled him up. Then glomped him again. And started fangirling. Again.

"Shikamaru Nara, chunin rank shinobi of Konohagakure. Your registration number is 012611, you graduated from the academy when you were 12, and you were also the first rookie to be promoted to a chunin. In my opinion, about 80 percent of things are troublesome to you. After Asuma's death, you vowed to protect Asuma's kid so they could grow up to be a 'cool adult' like Asuma was. You play old man games, like shogi and Go. You've completed 39 official missions in total: 8 D-rank, 3 C-rank 9 B-rank, 19 A-rank, 0 S-rank. OH OH OH OH! AND I MEMORIZED SOMETHING YOU SAID! OMFG OMFG UMMM UMMM UMMM!" While everyone stared at me I face palmed, scanning my fangirl-files for that quote I'd memorized at the beginning of my Shikamaru phase. Which, ironically, is the one I was in when I got sucked in here. The one I'm STILL in, actually.

"OH YEAH! I remember now! You said, and I quote, '_Ughh. Great. What's the point in setting the alarm if I'm going to wake up before it goes off? What a total waste. Now I've gotta shut it off but I don't feel like moving. But if I don't shut it off it will just keep ringing and ringing. It makes me tired just thinking about the whole thing. Some mornings are such a drag…' _I remember that one cuz I re-watched it five times. I was laughing for hours. You were just sitting in bed, staring while the clock was going off beside you. Ohhhh….that was funny…" I trailed off, giggling and out of breath.

Suddenly the woozy feeling from earlier came back at full force. White spots exploded across my eyes and I dropped straight backwards. I thought I was going to puke. My head felt light, and my legs were useless. Someone caught me, but I was too sick to care. My face began throbbing again, my black eye aching.

"Fuuuuuck my liiiiiiiife…" I moaned, and I heard laughing, which sounded suspiciously like Naruto's laughter. "Shut up you orange, blonde, hyperactive, crazy, jinchūriki-lookin whisker boy!" I growled through my nausea.

"Outta my way! I'm the certified medic-nin, not you. So move, Shikamaru!" I heard Sakura yell, followed by a loud crash and a lot of yelling on Naruto's part. Shikamaru muttered something along the lines of "troublesome woman," but I decided I would ignore it. My guess is Sakura tried to punch Shika, missed, and ended up hitting Naruto. Whose probably suffering from a concussion right about now.

"Where does it hurt?" oh…she's talking to me. Okay. That makes sense.

"Everywhere. I feel like I'm gonna be sick!"

"Damn it-EVERYBODY MOVE!" She yelled again. I felt her pick me up and carry me into the Hokage's office, as I smelled the singular odor of strong alcohol.

"Tsunade, something's wrong with the new girl!"


	4. Ranting Problems

"Something's wrong with the new girl!"

Wait! WHAT?

"Tsunade-sama! Just look!" Shizune said, having apparently come over to see whatever was wrong with me.

"What's wrong with her-What the hell?" Tsunade yelled. Someone grabbed me and put me on Tsunade's desk, which wasn't broken. Huh. They must have back-ups. Knowing Tsunade, it's probably not a bad idea.

"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"You have…these freaky designs all over you. But they're scarring." Sakura said, tersely.

"Say WHAT?"

"And then they disappear and your skin is different."

"Oh my god." My skin? Different? Scars? DESIGNS? What the hell is going on? Suddenly, another wave of nausea hit, and I retched over the side of the desk.  
>Kyuubi's little bark echoed throughout the room, as I groaned.<p>

"Someone get the animal out of here!" Tsunade said.

"Give her to someone to take of her. She's mine." I gasped, puking again.

"Fine. Someone get it out of here!"

I felt Tsunade pull off my clothes, but even though it was weird, I didn't say anything. I knew that if I opened my mouth again, I'd puke. Again. And my mouth already tastes foul. Ugh. Awesome. My first day and I'm already effing things up. That's just how awesome I am. Like a ninja. Bam.

And then the three people (Sakura, Shizune, and Tsunade. Wonderful. Sarcasm. Yup) I was being cared for by (wow that sounds weird) all started the sparkly green healing thingie on me. It was odd…and tingly. Not Mr. Tingly Feeling sort of tingly, but weird-on-my-skin sort of tingly. The kind of tingly that I DON'T LIKE.

* * *

><p>Xx Half an hour later xX<p>

* * *

><p>"So. Did we stop it?" Sakura asked, panting, sitting on the floor. I was sitting on Tsunade's desk, poking myself all over. They were right. My skin was different. There were no scars or freckles or anything. Just white skin. Really soft, silky, blemish-free white skin. I poked my arms, wide eyed. I used to have a scar from skateboarding that reached from my elbow to my shoulder.<p>

Let's just say I was uncoordinated. _Very uncoordinated._

I slid off the desk, and realized I was much _less_ uncoordinated. I was all bouncy and moving smoothly and…ninja-like.

What. The. Hell.

I got redressed, and I realized my shirt was tight. Not I'm-fat-and-need-a-bigger-shirt-tight. It was i-need-custom-clothes-cuz-my-chest-is-busting-the-frick-outta-my-top-tight. It was so bad my shirt wasn't covering my stomach all the way anymore. My belly ring was out there for the world to see, along with the remains of the funky Naruto-stomach seal my friend Bailey had sharpied on me a few days ago.

What's going on? I looked at my reflection in the window, and realized my hair was longer, fluffier, and…blue?

No that's just the crappy reflection. I'm still blonde. Okay. I was scared. I marveled at the recent nausea/transformation. I was taller, _much _bigger chested, _much_ skinnier, prettier…and just…anime-er!

Is it obvious that I'm more confused than a blind chicken riding on a unicycle?

Because I am.

Holy crap.

A couple of secretary-looking ninjas were cleaning up my puke, and Sakura was panting on the ground. She was worn out. What exactly were they trying to do? I mean, what _could_ they do? I had no idea what had happened. All I know is that I look different in a way that I don't look different. It's…awesome…and weird.

Tsunade was guzzling alcohol, obviously confused and trying to drink away her worries. Or something. Shizune was holding Tonton, looking at Tsunade worriedly.

I stepped out of Tsunade's office, and was pretty much attacked by Naruto.

"SAKURAAAAAA-wait you're not Sakura."

"I noticed. For one, my hair isn't pink."

"That and you're more Tsunade than Sakura-AAAH!" He yelled, as I smacked him. Whatever that transformation thing was, it apparently also made me insanely strong. Since Naruto was all the way down the hall, yelling in pain. Kakashi, Shikamaru, and Kiba (sans Akamaru) were waiting in the hall too. Akamaru was outside barking, along with Kyuubi. Hinata was out there with them. Lovely. Never really liked Hinata. Never _dis_liked her either. More like I never really viewed her as too important to me...  
>Not that she's unimportant. I like her enough to think she's cool. She was in the second Naruto Shippuden Movie. Bonds. Yup. She was all dregged in a chakra-sucking cell in a chakra-sucking ship that was being run by a chakra-sucking monster.<p>

Wonderful.

Kiba was eyeing me, sniffing too.

"You smell different."

"Really. Is that so?" I said sarcastically. Of course I smelled different. I'd just puked my guts up, and been in the same room as Tsunade. I smelled like Slim Jims and sake.

"Yea. You smell like here."

"…I smell. Like here."

"You don't smell different anymore."

Great. Just pimpin wonderful. Apparently _here _smells like puke and booze.

"Soooo…" Shikamaru said.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"How should I know? We're not even sure what just happened." Shika said, from where he was leaning against the wall.

"I don't know. But whatever it was messed with my skin."

"…Your…skin…?"

"Yes. My skin."

"Meaning?"

"This."

I yanked my sleeve up, and shoved my arm in his face. I had ditched the thermal in Tsunade's office (it was puke-covered) so my arm was completely visible.

"And?"

"Hey-looooo? I had a seven inch scar up here an hour ago. Something my arm is presently void of at this time. And my skin is all pretty and smooth and soft and white! LOOKY! FEELY!" I grabbed his hand and rubbed it on my arm.

"See?"

"You're troublesome."

"And you're a lazy bum. Sadly I can't say anything since I'm in my Shika phase. AUGH! IF I WAS STILL IN MY KAKASHI PHASE RIGHT NOW IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE TO INSULT YOU LIKE I MEANT IT! DAMN IT KAKASHI WHY DID I LOSE THE DRAW TO YOU? UGH!" I yelled, grabbing my head by the back of my hair, and yanking my head down. "GAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!"

And then I looked up and realized everybody was sweat dropping. Including Kakashi.

Oh shiznit.

"Ooooohhh…ummmmmm…"

"Kakashi…phase?" Naruto asked. I absentmindedly began another rant. I'm going to have to get a handle on not starting these. Because once I get started, it's impossible to stop.

"Yea. I had a Naruto phase, Kakashi phase, Kiba phase, and I'm in my Shikamaru phase. I also had little phases like Gaara and Izumo and Neji and Lee, but the Lee one was more of a pity slash sympathy thing, not really an OMG-I-LOVE-HIM thing. I had a Deidara one too…but Savannah nearly killed me for that. I probably woulda had a Sasuke one, but I stayed faaaaar away from that, because otherwise Bailey would have killed me without a second thought. So I channeled all the fangirl-ness into a brother-sister relationship, although in the fic I said we were cousins. And then I always mess with Bailey because that means I'm allowed to be a sister and do stupid crap, like draw on him with sharpies, so I would always say I was doing stuff like that. One time I even said I was straight-ironing his hair. She hated me for days. Just imagine, Sasuke with straight hair like Hinata.  
>Priceless.<br>And anyway, back to the point-kinda, the phases are these periods of time where a fangirl, in this case, me, will get obsessed with a certain male character. This could go in one of a few ways. One, the fangirl starts reading a lot of yaoi with that character, which I did in the end of my Naruto phase. SasuNaru and NaruSasu…I love those. The fluffy ones better. The…"in-depth" and "descriptive" stuff freaks me out sometimes. Two, the fangirl could become uber-obsessed, where she flips out and writes stories and fics where she pairs a badly-disguised-OC that's "modeled" after her with the current victim of her affections. Three, she could become addicted to a certain pairing with the fangirl-victim in it, like I did with Gaara. I absolutely loved GaaIno for a while.  
>Once again, back to my main point. I was a Kakashi-fangirl of the second situation. Although I do believe my OC's were much better disguised than a lot of the other crap I've read, although I've read several KakaOC stories that were pretty damn good. Although when I did regress to situation three, I loved KakaSaku waaaaaay too much. Then I got back to situation two after a while and all the perverted KakaSaku stuff was morphed into KakaOC or uuhhh…KakaMe, I guess? So yeah. My Kakashi phase was really bad. My Shika phase wasn't so bad, I did a ShikaOC that wasn't modeled after me, and it was pretty good, but I've been getting worse. My Naruto phase was bad too. My Kiba phase was relatively innocent though, which is weird because out of the four of you he seems the most likely to not be innocent with me."<p>

I stopped, gasping for air, chest heaving.

Kakashi, Naruto, Kiba, and Shikamaru were staring at me.

"Oh crap. I really just said all that didn't I?" I face palmed, then went back into Tsunade's office before they were able to say anything.

"Trouble out there?" Tsunade said, a bit drunkenly, but not too bad.

"Yes. I just made a damn fool of myself. Worse than Harry did when he took Cho to that stupid tea shop in Hogsmeade that one time."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. By the way…I think I need new clothes…and somewhere to stay…and stuff. Like that. So yeah. That." I said, still mentally beating the crap outta myself. Was I effing RETARDED? Did I REALLY just ramble and rant about something that weird to the people the rant was ABOUT?

I've lost my mind.

"You're staying with Kakashi for the time being," Tsunade slurred. "I don't know what else to do with you. We'll get you new clothes soon. Now go. I'm busy." And with that, I was shoved out of the room and into Naruto, who smartly backed away.

"Damn it. Kakashi, I'm apparently living with you. Now take me to your house so I can hate the world in peace."

I grumbled to myself, and walked away, to the general vicinity I knew Kakashi lived in. Every fanfic puts him in the same sort of place, so I looked for classy-ish apartment buildings or rather crappy apartment buildings. Yet I was still surprised when we got to his place.

"Whoaa…"

* * *

><p><strong>That's right. I somehow snuck Harry Potter in there. Like a BOSS. I told you she's make some poppity-culture...y...references. So i did it. I FLIPPIN DID IT!<strong>

**And i'd like to thank anime fan 202101202 for reviewing, and i'm thanking " Iamanonymous " too. thank you person i dunno!**

**And i'm thanking Freyja Elizabeth for reviewing on two of my other stories. And now, my readers, you must check her out, because she has real talent and is freaking hilarious. go check her out. Byyyeezzz!**


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